To Allow For Care | 12.21.20

I have learned many things from my wife, Sarah Linden Gregson, and to try to enumerate the here would be both long-winded and impossible. Two, however, that stand out recently and that stick with me and repeat themselves in my mind often are this: Never take away someone else’s joy by not allowing them to celebrate you, be it with gifts, surprises, favors, or anything else; and 2) Allow yourself to be cared for, to be taken care of when you need, to be vulnerable enough to allow help in. For me, someone who steadfastly refuses to ask for help from others in an attempt to never put them out, the second was such a challenging one to learn, and the first was one that was counter to everything my Autism has ever taught me of myself.

Today I’m talking about the second lesson, however, and while it’s extremely helpful having someone like her to take care of you, it’s a lesson we all need to learn and allow ourselves to actually absorb. It’s hard being vulnerable and being taken care of, it’s hard admitting that there are some things we just cannot do on our own, but it’s paramount that we do so. There is tenderness in people, and we must allow them to express it. If we try to control the way that’s expressed, the times it’s allowed to be expressed, we not only censor ourselves, but them, as well. This week, this holiday, allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to ask for help, see their tenderness, and offer your appreciation of it.

There is tenderness

in how others care for us,

in how they show it.

Haiku on Life by Tyler Knott Gregson


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