But So Full Of Life | 2.11.21

Stillness abounds, this strange forced stillness that’s locked us all down for nearly a year now. We miss the winding roads of the far away, we miss the exhausted bodies exploring vibrant cities. I look at photos like these, taken two years ago now, and I wonder where the year between went. I wonder what happened to all the time, all the adventure, all the mystery. It’s a hard thing waking day after day to the same routine, the precise day you just lived, but we are lucky to wake, day after day. I see us in this photograph, and I feel it. I am there, wandering some costal path of Scotland, worn out from the best week of our lives, exhausted, but so full of life, and I ache for it. I positively ache to move again, to explore, experience, elate.

I am not one to take a life for granted, not one to forget what a true blessing each new day is, but I am also honest and unfiltered, and I will say this: It’s been hard not leaving this little city of ours for a year, it’s been hard not living the life we spent 10 years working to live. Yes, we are all lucky to still be here, yes we are missing those we have lost, but it’s ok to feel all this. It’s ok to admit it sucks, it’s ok to admit that we miss the way life was, it’s ok to plan for and aim at that life returning, only better, only more appreciated. There are highs and there are lows to this, both have equal merit and importance. Allow yourself to fall into old photographs of that beautiful old life, weep for it for a moment if you need, and then get back to planning your triumphant return to it. I know I am.

I cannot wait to begin.

Photo at arm's length,

us with the exhausted eyes

but so full of life.

Haiku on Life by Tyler Knott Gregson


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